


christmas flowers

by sarcastissa, SnorkleShit



Series: coffee mouths [6]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Roleplay/Roleplay Adaptation, M/M, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Roleplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3103886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcastissa/pseuds/sarcastissa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnorkleShit/pseuds/SnorkleShit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas Eve at Flowers' house.</p><p> </p><p>-----------------</p><p> </p><p>roleplay between myself and destielswingsmyheartacrosstheline from tumblr, adapted onto here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	christmas flowers

**Author's Note:**

> "Santa, baby  
> So hurry down the chimney tonight."  
> -Some pretentious fucker with a nice voice, "Santa Baby"

Tucker smiled softly as his little brother tried to hang some mistletoe from Flowers’ long braid. He walked into the living room, lit up with fairy lights and candles, Christmas carols playing softly as Flowers and Junior talked to each other happily. 

It was their tradition, to spend Christmas Eve together. Especially after his uncle got too sick to start visit in every year. 

Tucker placed the plate of cookies on the coffee table and checked the time on his phone. 5:26. “Okay, guys, stop horsing around. Wash will be here any minute.”

Flowers chuckled and looked at Junior, “Is he always this…what’s the word?”

“Church say whipped.”

Flowers laughed loudly and Tucker raised one eyebrow, unamused.

After finally escaping Connie’s attempts to rope him into Christmas Caroling with her, Washington managed to make his way to Flowers’ place. his heart was pounding, which was strange. He’d been with Tucker for almost two months, now. Maybe it was the weight of spending the holiday’s together. It seemed like a big deal, in Washington’s eyes. Maybe Tucker didn’t care as much, and he was being silly.

He knocked on the door, and ran a hand through his hair nervously.

The past few months had been great. Tucker was more comfortable around him, he was more comfortable around Tucker. But he felt like there was an unspoken barrier still between them. Tucker had only disclosed about how his supposed ex, Felix, had been an asshole. But he knew there was more. And he spoke so lightly whenever he spoke of his mother, but he only ever alluded to their history in passing. Not that Washington was impatient or anything- he didn’t want Tucker to feel rushed to open up to him. What worried him most was opening up to Tucker. The more time went on, the more he wanted to open his mouth and explain the scars on his back, explain the nightmares, explain the anxiety, wanted to be able to take off his shirt without turning to make sure his back was out of view as much as possible. He wanted to explain to Tucker why he he was so apprehensive to touch, especially considering how understanding and considerate Tucker was of his boundaries. He desperately wanted to explain why he had boundaries in the first place. But it terrified him to death, the thought of it. Tucker thought he was so perfect. Thought he was beautiful. Wanted to spend the holiday’s with him, trusted him around his brother. He didn’t want to lose Tucker’s faith in him. He knew in his head that Tucker wouldn’t think less of him, per se. At least, he hoped so. The fear was still underlying. But at the same time…he didn’t know if he could bear it if Tucker looked at him the same way his friends looked at him sometimes.

Like he was some wounded animal. LIke he was a ticking time bomb, bound to break. It drove him insane.

Not to mention, that deep down, a tiny part of him worried that if Tucker knew how easy it was to hurt him, he might just decide to do it. 

But, Tucker wouldn’t hurt him. Tucker would never hurt him.

Then again, he’d thought that about Maine, in the start.

But this wasn’t about any of that. This was Christmas,his favorite time of year. A time for joy and happiness and peppermint and presents and a little bit of magic, and a whole lot of love. He pushed his worries aside and put on a smile as he waited for the door to open.

"I’m not whipped,” Tucker narrowed his eyes at Flowers, who grinned impishly. He tried to take his time getting to the door, but still ended up running. It felt important, though. Spending the holiday with Washington. It was a time for family and love.

Tucker never really made a big deal of Christmas in the past because it used to be those two weeks whenever his mom skipped town to go to the casinos in Oklahoma and he told his uncle over the phone that everything was okay whenever nothing was. This was the time of year that he’d spend at the Director’s house, furiously blocking his little brother from the madman’s words.  
But then he’d gone out into the world and made his own little family with Flowers and Junior and his uncle. And now he was literally letting Wash in. It was a little bit scary. But he was really loving the feeling.

So what if he ran to the door? So what if every time he saw Wash he had no idea how the guy got even more beautiful? So what if he spent a couple of seconds just staring at his shuffling boyfriend?

"Hey, babe," He grinned whenever Flowers cleared his throat loudly and snapped him from his staring. He looped his arms around Wash’s neck and kissed him.

No matter how many times they kissed, Washington always felt the sparks. He’d never get tired of kissing Tucker.

"Hey, guys. Merry Christmas! Are you excited?" Washington asked happily as he stepped inside.

"I’m cited!" Junior yelled, red icing covering his fingers and face from where he was demolishing the cookies on the coffee table.

Flowers grinned at Wash. “Merry Christmas, Blondie. I’m happy to see you two so happy.”

"And whipped," Junior added, smiling impishly at Tucker, who stuck his tongue out at the kid.

"Shut it you, or I’ll tie you to the chair again." Tucker threatened playfully, earning a laugh from Junior.

"You try," he argued.

"And here I thought I’d left the sibling arguements behind after I left North and South. And thanks, Flowers. I’m happy too." He replied, stepping inside and flashing a grin at Junior.  
Tucker closed the door behind him. After Flowers and Junior went back to guessing what they had gotten for Christmas, Tucker winded his arms around Washington in a tight a hug. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

"Merry Christmas." He saidin return, melying into the hug. "So, gonna tell me what you got me?"

Tucker made a scandalized face at him. “Of course not. But you do get to pick if you want to open it tonight or tomorrow. Also, I need to explain a thing in it, so we might wanna do that part when we’re alone.”

"Oh, so its that kind of present." Washington replied, with a scandolous smirk.

Tucker laughed a bit before mock pouting and speaking in a dramatic voice. “You make it sound so dirty whenever I’m just trying to be romantic. Did you get me anything?”

"Yeah, I did." Washington said, reaching into his bag and pulling out two small boxes with a bow on each. "And for Junior. I had no idea what to get Flowers, so I gave his resturaunt a shining review on Yelp."

Tucker grinned. “He might love you more than he loves me whenever he sees that. So I didn’t know what to get your grandparents, so I got them an Alicia in Wonderland themed bong? Should I send it back, or is it good?”

Washington laughed. “Holy shit, thats perfect.”

Tucker grinned. “Perfect. So, the festivities are happening in the living room, with Flowers and Junior, and I’m baking in the kitchen. So far there have only been two—” “Three,” Flowers interrupted.

"Fires, and most of the cookies are edible," Tucker finished as if he was never interrupted. "You could go hang out with the family. I need to get the frosting on some cookies, so you could help with that, if you want. I think Junior and Flowers are playing 20 questions."

"Id like to help you, if thats okay." He decided.

Tucker grinned, “I’d love that. Kitchen’s this way.” Tucker led him into the kitchen where the unfrosted sugar cookies were cooling. He gestured to the green, red, and white frostings and sprinkles. “Here is where the magic happens.”

"And here I thought that was the bedroom. Got a specific plan gor these?"

Tucker gave Wash a flirty look. “Naughty, naughty. Please, Wash, contain yourself around children.” He laughed at his own joke. “Just make ‘em Christmas-y. Flowers and Junior suck at decorating cookies, so usually I’m all by myself for this part, so its kinda great to have some help.” Tucker grinned and kissed Wash on the cheek before looking over his shoulder at the door frame.

"Also, Flowers will try to either get you, or you and me, under the mistletoe tonight. It’s hanging over the door frame, so proceed with caution."

"Alas, the dreaded mistletoe." Washington replied, rolling up his sleeves and picking up a blank cookie.

Tucker swiped some icing on his finger and started licking it off because he’s actually a small child in an adult’s body. “Yeah, God forbid you have to kiss me. I’ve got so much cooties. Really, I’m doing you a solid, my friend.”

"I was never a strong believer I’m cooties, actually." Wash shrugged. "And even if I was, kissing you would be worth it."

Tucker smiled at him. “Mr. Romance over here.” He gave Wash a quick kiss before deciding to start decoding something. He got a finger full of green icing and eyed Wash’s face mischievously.

"Don’t do what I think your going to do." Wash warned.

Tucker’s became impossibly wider as he painted red icing in a small line onto Wash’s cheek. “Just playing connect the dots, lover.”

"You better intend on cleaning that up." Washington pouted, leaning to swipe up some icing and dab it onto Tuckers lip.

Tucker raised an eyebrow as his grin turned decidedly flirty. He leaned forward and slowly licked the icing off of Wash’s cheek, careful not to take the icing on his lips with it. “There, I cleaned up my mess. Now you clean up yours.”

Wash swiped the icing off his lips with a stroke of his tongue, followed by a press of his lips. He loved kissing Tucker. Probaly more than was normal.

Tucker grinned against Wash’s lips and looped her arms around his neck. He melted against the kiss, enjoying the festive taste of frosting in between them.

Washington tilted his head to slot thier mouths together easier, enjoying the shivers Tucker always sent down his spine.

Tucker pulled away at the sound of a wolf whistle from the doorway. He sighed and rested his forehead on Wash’s shoulder. “You know, Iwas just teasing whenever I said that you were whipped, but damnthat was some kiss.” Flowers grinned widely.

Washington laughed and immitated a whip noise, turning back toward the cookies.  
Tucker groaned and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “Not you too. My one ally in this trying time has turned on me. What do you need, Flowers. I have moping to do.”

"Well, Junior, and whenever I say Junior I mean Junior with no help from me whatsoever, might have eaten all of the cookies."

"Yeah, I’m sure he did it all hinself, what a scoundrel. Good thing we have more, eh?" Washington said, turning back towards the cookies.

"That Junior," Tucker sighed. "What a fucking menace. I promise that I’ve been teaching him restraint." He shook his head, sadly looking up at the ceiling. "Where did I go wrong?"

"Dint do it!" Junior yelled from the doorway, sounding squeaky and panicked. Tucker stared sadly at him.

"You’ve changed so much." He spoke with sorrow dramatically before swiveling his head to pout at Wash. "Did you know that last week he told me to stop hugging him because he’s not a child anymore? My little boy is growing up. Is this teenage rebellion?"

"Tuck!" Junior yelled, running over to his big brother and hugging him tightly around his middle. "I not say that!" He protested. "Like hug!"

Washington laughed. “I don’t think the good years are in the bag yet.”

Tucker curled around Junior, making a loving question mark with his body as he hugged his little brother tightly. He whispered something in Junior’s ear that made the boy laugh and smile before running off to go play with Flowers’ model airplanes.

"Are you real? Seriously, you and your family have been such a blessing," Flowers murmured to his pseudo son as he kissed his forehead and grabbed a finish tray of cookies. "I look forward to many more years filled with your shenanigans."

Tucker shrugged, an unapologetic smile on his face. “You’re stuck with us now.” Flowers laughed, shaking his head, before leaving the room.

Washington shook sprinkles over the cookie he was working on, a bubble of warmth growing in his chest.

"Its nice, how we make our own little families in the world. Especially when the birth ones don’t always work out. Speaking of which, you’ll never guess who called me the other day."

Tucker smiled a bit and crossed his arms over his chest, watching Wash as he decorated the cookies. “Santa Claus?”

Washington huffed, and grabbed another cookie. “I wish. Nah, my parents called me on wednsday. They haven’t talked to me since I was in the hospital. It was really weird.”

Tucker’s eyebrows furrowed as he gave Wash a caring look. “Was it good weird or bad weird? What did they want? To make amends? No, too many questions. Ignore those questions, how do you feel about this new development?”

Washington shrugged as he spread icing. “I’m not really sure. If they wanna make amends, I guess ill listen, but I gotta admit I’m still a little pissed. And hurt. And it would be awkward and messy and confusing, cause its just this big whole can of worms, you know? But it might be worth it. I don’t know, holiday spirit and all that?”

"Babe," Tucker sighed and tilted his head as he searched for the right words. He’d learned early on in this relationship that filling silence with words wasn’t as bountiful as filling words with thought and feelings.

"Like you said, people tend to go out and make their own families. There’s a certain amount of…love that comes from choosing your family. They will always be there to support you, no matter what. Often times with blood relatives, though, they think that DNA is some kind of cosmic excuse you be a dick. I’ll support if you want to forgive them, I’ll support you if you want to forget about them, I’ll support you if you want to pour purple paint over everything they own. I won’t support you making this decision based on a holiday instead of what you want. You mean too much to me for me to do that. I want you to happy. And decorate all of these cookies for me." Tucker smiled and kissed Wash’s cheek.

Washington laughed, setting aside the finished cookie abd grabbing two more. “I guess that’s smarter. Ill think on it after the holiday season. Right now I wanna think about you, and Christmas. I’ve always loved Christmas.”

Tucker hummed and leaned his head on Wash’s shoulder, watching as he decorated the cookies. “Was Christmas a big deal at your grandparents’ house?”

"Yeah, they go the whole nine yards. It was always super fun. All the holidays where. My parents would always take me up on christmas day to see them, when I was a kid. And when I lived with my grandparents after I got kicked out, they would still insist that santa claus was real, even when I was in high school. They where set on keeping the childhoof magic alive for as long as possible."

Tucker smiled as he listened to Wash. “That must’ve been nice. Did you leave out cookies for the fat man?”

"Yeah, we would make them from scratch. Only cookied my grandma made that werent weed infused."

Tucker laughed. “So what you’re saying is that your grandma had a thing against Santa?”  
"Apparently. What’s your favorite holiday?"

Tucker shrugged, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious. “I uh…holidays were never really a big thing. I mean, whenever it was up to my mom, she would probably skip town to chase down some holiday love. I try to make them special for Junior, though.”

Washington nodded. “That’s really nice of you. You’re such a great big brother. I know I say that a lot, but I just can’t get over it. Junior is really lucky to have you.”

Tucker blushed and rubbed his cheek against Wash’s shoulder. “I think you’re a little bias, babe.”

"Maybe, But the reasoning still stands." Washington replied.

Tucker huffed a breath out through his nose and shook his head before perking up and seriously resembling an excited puppy. “Did I tell what Junior did for mt Christmas present?”

"No, what?" Washington asked.

"He’s writing me a song," Tucker’s voice was so soft that it was almost a whisper, eyes tearing up at the thought of it. "He didn’t finish in time and almost pitched a fit, but I convinced him to play it for me before we left to come here and its so beautiful."

"Wow, that’s super great. Maybe you should find a way to record it." Washington suggested.

"I will," Tucker told him. "But its so great. Its kinda sad but light and airy and my little brother is a fucking prodigy and he wrote me song." He felt like his face was going to split in half, his smile was so wide. "Yesterday, he was chillin in the common room and Church tried to give him crap and I had to get onto him for throwing a book at Church. Which means that he’s not just treating the dorm like some place where he’s staying. He’s starting to get comfortable and his grades are up and he wrote me a song and he’s so goddamn happy, I just…"

Washington pecked Tucker on the cheek. “I know.”

Tucker grinned up at him, thanking whatever deity was out there that they had led him to Wash. Goddamn, he must’ve done something right somewhere along the way. “So, you never answered me about if you want your gift tonight or tomorrow.”

"I think I’m fine either way." He replied.

"Alright." Tucker nodded. "Let’s do it tonight, so that I don’t have to worry about the gift and making a good impression on your grandparents.”

"You don’t have to worry, dude, they’ll love you." Washington said, not for the first time.

"Yeah, sorry," Tucker shook his head, trying to shake off the nerves that had been eating at him since Wash had invited him over for Christmas in the first place. "Sorry, I just…You know."

"Don’t be nervous, they’re not that scary." Washington assured him.

"Babe, telling me not to be nervous makes me a little bit more nervous because now I’m worrying about not worrying," Tucker spoke in a wary voice.

Washington shrugged. “Maybe I should help you relieve some of that holiday stress.”

Tucker looked up at him, “And how are you planning on doing that, Mr. Washington?”

Washington grinned and leaned to kiss him, letting his hand wander up to cup his jaw.

Tucker smiled into the kiss and pressed up against Wash. He wrapped his arms around the blond’s middle and grabbed fistfuls of his shirt.

Breaking away and twisting his head, he kisses along Tucker’s jawline slowly.

Tucker closed his eyes as his breath hitched, fists tightening in Wash’s shirt. “Babe,” He sighed.  
Washington grinned against his boyfriends skin, dropping to drag his teeth lightly over Tucker’s pulse point.

Tucker hissed in a breath and cursed. “Jesus fuck, Wash. Flowers and Junior are in the next room.” 

"It seems my efforts are just stressing you out more. How useless I must seem." Washington laughed softly, pulling away to grin.

Tucker huffed. “Fuck you,” He whispered before removing one hand from Wash’s middle and guided him into another kiss.

Eventually, Washington thought. He melted into Tucker, relishing the shivers his kiss sent down his spin.

Tucker pulled away, telling himself that he should cool down a bit. He placed butterfly kisses on Wash’s upper lip. “And, babe, you’re not useless.”

"As I’m sure I’ll get the chance to prove one of these days." He agreed with a joking smile.

"We should probably get the cookies out to the others," Tucker smiled back at him before leaning up again and pressing a quick kiss onto Wash’s lips.

"Yeah, or we might have a riot on our hands." Washington agreed, turning to scoop up the tray of finished cookies.

Tucker sighed dramatically as he grabbed the other tray and began to lead Wash into the living room, where Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer was play on loud enough to attack his senses. “You have no idea, darling. Don’t let the happy face fool you, he’s vicious.”

Washington set the cookies down on the table. “Try to save some for Santa, guys.”

Flowers looked up at Wash with dopey eyes. “Santa?”

"Not real, member?" Junior told him between bites of cookies.

"Shh, Junior! I told you not to shatter the illusion!" Tucker huffed and gave Flowers a dramatically sympathetic look. "I thought that it’d be best to break it to you gently." Flowers scowled at being the butt of the joke.

"You’re all assholes, every single one of you. Except for Wash. I’m gonna steal him from you, little ones, and we will run away together."

"Fucking dare you," Tucker’s voice was a bit hard and there was a pit in his stomach. Huh…guess that’s what jealousy feels like.

Wash glanced towards his boyfriend, then towards Flowers. “I’m flattered, really, but I wouldn’t leave Tucker even if Chris Pine descended from the sky with a rose in between his teeth and a thousand bucks.”

Tucker looked over at Wash like he hung the stars and kissed his cheek. “I’m sure Chris Pine would want him, but he’s mine now. If he was interested in a threesome, however…” Tucker let the joke trail off.

"Okay, okay, virgin ears, babe." Washington laughed in response.

Flowers smiled widely at them both. “So, wanna start in on the presents, beautiful youth?”

Junior shot up from where he was laying on the floor next to coffee table and grinned widely at Flowers. “Movies.” 

“How the fuck did you—!?” Flowers sputtered. “Dammit.”

"You can go first, Junior." Washington urged, wrapping an arm around Tucker’s waist.  
Junior grinned widely as he picked up the box wrapped in shiny red paper. He ripped it open to find a collection of 80’s movies. “Thank Flowers!”

"I already gave him his gift from me," Tucker murmured to Wash. "So its your turn to gift."

Washington picked up the thin rectangle wrapped in red paper, and handed it to Junior with a grin. He’d spent an hour debating wether to get him the violin sheet music for the Lord Of The Rings, or the one for Star Wars. He’s gone with Star Wars, of course.

He felt a flip of nervousness in his gut. He was always nervous when it came to giving people gifts, he supposed. Not that he had any other reason to be nervous other the lingering shadow of Maine’s unpredictable mood swings. He shook the nervousness aside- he was great at giving gifts. And normal people didn’t flip a table when you supposedly didn’t get them the right thing. Normal people, normal gift giving, normal reactions, normal, happy Christmas. Best gift he could hope for.

Junior carefully unwrapped the paper. He had been wondering what it was that could be so thin and delicate, but had come up with nothing.

Tucker watched with a small grin on his face as Junior realized that he was just given a song that he’d been asking his brother, conductor, ans mother for for years. The smile that lit up his face was priceless. He looked up at Wash’s nose, the closest to eye contact that he made with anyone besides Tucker.

"Thank Wash. Lot," He seemed to debate with himself a bit before jerking forward and giving Wash an awkward hug around his middle.

Washington blinked at the hug in surprise, but then grinned with a burst of pride. He patted Junior on the back. “Your welcome, buddy.”

Junior broke off and looked at Flowers. “You turn.”

Flowers sighed dramatically before opening the box that was decorated in tinkerbell wrapping paper. He opened the cardboard box to find a small, misshapen clay pot that was painted with crude chef hats, puppy dogs, and a flower. He thanked Junior profusely before moving onto the lumpy, poorly wrapped gift from Tucker that turned out to be a brightly coloured aqua Christmas sweater.

"Fuck you and your bad taste," Flowers told his pseudo son flippantly before smiling at him and earning a smile.

"I don’t know, I think you can rock that." Washington added thoughtfully.

"So, I’d like to thank you, Wash, very much for the Yelp review. It touched my heart." Flowers told him before holding out a little rectangular box with a bow on it. Inside was a Dora the Explorer watch. "Merry Christmas, Wash."

"This may be the greatest present I’ve ever received." Washington whispered in awe.

Tucker grinned up at him. “You’re so fucking full of it.”

"I play song for you," Junior told him in a semi-shy voice.

"Wait, me?" Wash asked in surprise, glancing towards Tucker.

Tucker smiled and shrugged as Junior studiously set up his music stand and got into playing position with his violin. “It would seem, babe, that you’ve made quite an impact on my little brother.”

Tucker watched Junior with a small smile as he breathed in deep and began playing…

Criminal by Britney Spears.

Wash’s face split into a smile so wide it hurt, and he held back laugh so he could enjoy the song. He couldn’t believe that Tucker remembered that, let alone mentioned it to his brother. Emotions caused his throat to close up, and tears to prick his eyes. Only a year ago, he’s been fighting to save his life, but he’d never imagined his life would turn out to be so worth saving. He never dared to dream he’d be as happy as he was right now.

Tucker laughed loudly, turning and smothering the giggles in Wash’s chest. He couldn’t stop the wide smile or shaking shoulders as he remembered their first date and their thing with Britney Spears. He remembered seeing Wash for the first time and the excellent blush from whenever he complimented the multitude of freckles. He giggled as he recalled just how they’d started talking.

"Hush, your interrupting a true masterpiece," Washington scolded with a laugh.

Tucker shook his head and tried to stifle his giggles. Keyword being tried.

"That was amazing, Junior."

Tucker worldlessly turned away from Wash’s chest and gave his brother a tight hug, shaking with silent laughter. “That was grand and I have never been more proud of you.”

Junior blushed and turned away, but let Tucker hug him. Afterwards, he cocked his head at Tucker. “You give Wash present now?”

Tucker smiled. “Okay, both I can’t give him all of it because part is private. Like ours, remember?” At Junior’s nod, Tucker retrieved a medium sized box from underneath the tree and held it out for Wash, cheeks dark with blush and butterflies dying of TB in his stomach.

Wash took the box and frowned thoughtfully, “Heavier than I expected.” 

He opened it carefully, for fear of damaging whatever was inside. 

Finding a grey camera bag, he inhaled sharply, and lifted it out with a bit of reverence.

"I-" he attempted to say something, but nothing came out.

Tucler looked from Wash to the bag woth a bit of anxiety gracing his usually smooth features. “I just thought because, you know, your other one is falling apart.”

He tried to hide the way that he was shuffling his weight from foot to foot, but he could feel the intrigued stare from Flowers on his back and the comforting warmth of Junior’s hand hooked into the bottom of his shirt.

Washington ran his hands over the leather, face lighting up. It felt almost….warm. Or maybe that was his shaking hands.

"I love it, holy shit. I- this is really nice. Like, beyond anything- thank you." He stammered. Turning the bag over in his hands and inspecting every bit. He felt something in the left pocket, and unzipped it to find a few pieces of folded up paper. "What’s this?"

Tucker’s breath hitched as a different kind if anxiety made him tense. “That’s the thing that I need to explain in private. But you like the bag?” He asked hopefully.

"Of course I do, I love it." Washington replied, tucking the papers back into the pocket for later. He set the bag aside to reach forward and pull Tucker into a kiss.

Tucker made a surprised noise before smiling and melting against Wash. He looped his arms around Wash’s neck and pressed against him gently before pulling away from the kiss. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

"It is indeed." He replied happily.

"Tucker turn!" Junior announced loudly as Tucker turned his attention from the very kissable man in his arms to his little brother, who grinned up at him.

Flowers produced a rectangular box and held it out to Tucker, who took it after letting go of Wash. He carefully unwrapped it and opened it up to reveal the same sweater that he had gotten Flowers.

"Now you understand? Fuck you." Flowers spoke grumpily as Tucker laughed.

"Oh, that’s great. Like seriously, I love it."

"Wow. You guys can match!" Washington laughed.

Tucker laughed and shook his head. Junior looked up at Wash expectantly, lifting his eyebrows.

Washington grinned, and handed Tucker his gift.

Tucker went about carefully unwrapping the gift. He first pulled out the small gift card and laughed. “$20 at Blood Gulch Cafe. You’re hilarious, Wash.” He told his boyfriend with a warm tone. He continued and pulled out the framed picture of the flower. He looked from Wash to the flower.

"Is this the…?"

Wash shrugged. “Yeah. I thought you’d like it. That flower was like a spark of life amongst the gloom. I guess it reminded me of you. Seems kinda lame in comparison to what you got me, now, I guess.”

Tucker expression softened as leaned up and gave Wash a slow kiss. “Shut up. Its fucking fantastic.”

"There’s more," Junior mumbled, making Tucker raise his eyebrows at Wash.

"You didn’t have to get me this much," he told him as he took out a small, beautiful dream catcher. His eyes glossed over a bit with tears as he looked over at Wash. "I…holy…its beautiful."

"No one likes nightmares, and everyone loves feathers and beads. It’s a win win." Washington said, happy Tucker liked his gift.

Tucker carefully laid his presents down on the coffee table before all but throwing himself at Wash, wrapping his arms around the blond’s neck in a tight hug.

Washington tensed at the surprise hug for a moment, out of instinct, but quickly relaxed and returned the embrace with just as much fever, breathing in the smell of Tucker- he didn’t know if it was cologne, or conditioner, or the laundry detergent he used, but Tucker always smelled great.

Tucker chuckled a little bit as he snuggled his face into Wash’s neck. “Did you just sniff me?” He asked, voice quiet so that only Wash could hear.

"Of course not." Washington denied, but smiled against the other mans skin playfully.

Tucker laughed and relished the feel of being in and having Wash in his arms before pulling away. “So, want me to explain now?”

"Go to the den. I need to introduce Junior to the Breakfast Club," Flowers told them from where he was kneeling on the floor, fiddling with the DVD player.

Washington stood, ready to follow Tucker to the den. He has to admit that he was slightly nervous, considering he had no idea what to expect.

As the couple sat down on the couch Tucker took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he knew was going to be a long and rambling explanation. “Okay, so, you know how we had that talk the first time that you came to game night? After you saw my scar? About how you want to tell me everything but you can never find the right words? Well, that letter is….my words. But picture that the way that I just said that sounded way less dramatic and pretentious.

"And please don’t think that this is me try to pressure you into telling me everything in any way, unless you want to. I’ve wanted to tell you about my mom for the past month but I could never find the right moment. So these are my words, the sloppily written at two in the morning story of my childhood, I guess. You could read it to yourself or I could read it or you could save it or just throw it away," Tucker swallowed nervously as he fiddled with his fingers, not looking at Wash. He made sure to make his tone flippant, like it wouldn’t matter to him if Wash threw it out, but he knew that Wash had basically memorized his body language.

He knew that Wash would know that he’d never really opened up like this to someone and had it end well. He knew that Wash would know this was a big deal to him.

At least, he hoped so.

Wash stared at him, processing just what this meant for a moment. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. 

"This- this means a lot. Of course I’ll read it. Unless- unless you wouldn’t mind reading it to me. But you don’t have to. This is enough- more than enough." He said, his voice suddenly finding it harder to come out of his mouth, his stomach flipping over and over in his gut. He didn’t know why he was so nervous- he wasn’t the one of opening up like this. Like he’d never imagined. Tucker was brave. Braver than Wash was afraid he’d ever be, and he was beyond touched.

Tucker smiled in relief. “I could read it? If you want.” He shuffled his hands a bit before nervously threading finger through one of Wash’s hands and using his free hand to gesture at the bag.

"You-you don’t have to, I mean- if you need to stop, at anytime, you can. Like, literally no pressure. I won’t say anything until the end, if you want. I’m a good listener." Washington squeezed his hand, and pulled the bag towards him so he could fish out the paper. His heart was hammering in his rib cage. He could barely wrap his head around the fact that Tucker was willing to open up so much, let alone to him. He hoped that it wasn’t that bad, only because he hated the idea of Tucker going through pain. He hoped whatever was on the paper wasn’t horrible. But he knew it wasn’t good, or this wouldn’t be such a big deal.

Tucker nodded and swallowed thickly, carefully taking the papers from Wash. He began to reread his words to himself a bit, muttering underneath his breath. “‘Remiss’? What the hell? Do I sound as pretentious as I write?”

Washington forced a small smile. “Only when you try to be.”

Tucker folded the paper and ran a Han through his dreads be for look at Wash. “Unscripted now cause I’m not gonna say shit like ‘remiss’. Okay, first I wasn’t entirely honest with you on our first date whenever I said that my dad wasn’t around. He was, for a while. Until I was like 13. He left a couple of years after Junior was born because he was…some people suck at grasping the full extent of the work involved with an autistic child. He was…drunk and mean. He thought that Junior’s and my mom’s disabilities were curses from God so he’d try to…”

Tucker clenched his jaw as he remembered the scenes from so long ago. His free hand tightened next to his thigh as he closed his eyes. Whenever he spoke again, he tried to keep his tone unaffected and clinical, but still only ended up sounding like that sad little kid. “He tried to beat the demons out of them. I was Junior’s big brother, though. I couldn’t let him…” He shook his head. “He left.”

Washington tried to keep his expression neutral, but his throat clenched in horror at the very idea of what Tucker was suggesting, and noted the realization about Tucker’s mother. He said nothing, just stroked his thumb over the back of Tucker’s hand slowly, in a show of support, and of comfort.

Tucker smiled a bit at the feel of Wash’s thumb and continued. “Sorry about lying, but its not exactly forst date material. So, after he left, my mom sort of fell apart. She’s schizophrenic and bipolar and usually its okay and she takes her meds but then she thinks that she doesn’t need them and stops taking them and she becomes violent.

"She screams and lashes out and will throw shit. She blamed Junior for making Ed leave, she blames me for Junior’s disabilities because I actually take care of him instead of letting him fend for himself. That’s what was going on whenever Junior called that day. I told him to call me anytime it happens, and I’ll be there for him. It got worse after I left for college so Junior is intimately familiar with my dorm. I’ve been trying to get some steady work so that I can sue her for custody of him." Tucker took a deep breath and looked over at Wash with his heart carefully guarded. "So that’s me."

"I understand. I doubt that even counts as a lie." He replied, turning to look towards the doorway, thinking about Junior and Flowers in the other room.

"And that’s why she threw you out, like you said? She…blames you and Junior?" Washington asked ten tacitly, wanting to get it all straight.

Tucker shook his head. “That wasn’t why she threw me out. Her boyfriend threw me out because I was gay. But she does blame me and Junior for anything wrong that happens. Whenever someone breaks up with her, if she loses her job, me being gay, Junior being autistic.” He shrugged.

"Not exactly my place to say but- actually, it is my place, because I care about both of you a lot. She shouldn’t. None of that is your fault- and the last two aren’t even bad things. Your- your amazing. Really. You amaze me and I can barely even comprehend how strong and wonderful you are and it breaks my heart because neither of you should have to be strong, you shouldn’t have to." Washington felt like his lungs where filled with water and fire, and he turned to look back towards Tucker, and forced a painful smile. He reached out hesitantly, and cupped his boyfriends jaw, chest swelling with affection and sympathy and a few other emotions he couldn’t name.

"Your the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Sorry if that sounds sappy. I wish you hadn’t gone through that- I wish things weren’t still so hard, and I really hope you can get custody of Junior because by the sounds of it, you’ve been more of a parent than anyone else, and your doing an amazing job as is. I wish- I wish bad things didn’t happen to such amazing people. But it means more to me than you’ll ever be able to imagine that you told me this. I-" he wanted to express the way his guy twisted itself into knots and how his spine felt like it was racing with lightning and how his heart felt like it was going to burst, but whatever words there were got stuck in his throat. He pulled Tucker’s hand up and kissed his knuckles softly, not sure how he would feel if Wash tried to do anything more than that right now. A tear slipped out of the corner of his eye, and he hoped it went unnoticed. Right now wasn’t about him.

Tucker used his free hand to brush the tear away gently. He felt some heavy part of his heart float away as he pulled Wash into a tight hug. “Don’t cry for me, babe. Please don’t.”

Tucker didn’t know what to say. Somehow of all of the reactions he had thought of, compassion and sorrow? He just didn’t let himself hope for that. His fingers tingled where Wash had kissed him. He didn’t know what to do with this new feeling of…acceptance. So he decided to hold onto Wash a little tighter, try (in vain) not to let a couple of tears leek, and hope that this wasn’t a dream.

Wash cracked a semi-hollow laugh. “Sorry. I have this issue where I care more than is probably appropriate.”

"Its not wrong," Tucker told him, lips moving against Wash’s neck. "I just hate to see you cry. I don’t want you sad, I shouldn’t’ve said anything."

Washington shook his head. “No. In happy, too. I’m glad you told me. It means…a lot. I must say, this is certainly high on my list of best Christmases.

Tucker nuzzled his face into Wash’s neck and raked his fingers through the blond’s hair. “I’m glad that i told you, too. I’ve wanted to for a while.”

Washington ignored the guilt in his gut when he thought of how terrified he was to even think about opening up to Tucker, and placed a kiss on edge of the other mans jawline. 

"Whatever happens, I’ll be there to do whatever I can to help you."

"Fucking sap," Tucker smiled and kissed his neck. "You’re so fucking amazing, holy shit."

"Thanks, I practice every morning in the mirror." Wash joked, enjoying the warmth of his boyfriend’s embrace.

Tucker laughed and shook his head, pulling away from Wash a little to look at him. “Practice makes perfect.” He smiled a bit as he stared at his boyfriend. Dayum. Tucker thought to himself. He could just look at Wash all day. He has.

Wash glanced away from Tucker's stare. "I never get why your so fascinated with me. I mean, all jokes aside, your the better looking one. I'm not even being modest, I'm fucking hot and you are lucky to have me as arm candy, but it's kinda counter productive, considering you look as hot as the son if a pagan God of Sun himself on a regular basis without even trying." Washington told him, in a dead serious tone, along with a sincere smile.

Tucker blushed and shook his head. He leaned up and kissed Wash, hand in his hair scraping against his scalp. He pulled away and gave him a smile. “I have a thing for freckles.”

Washington laughed. “I’ve noticed. Connie used to take a sharpie and connect the dots with the ones all over my back.” He paused, considering everything Tucker has told him, then came to a decision. He smiled up at Tucker.

"You should try it, sometime. I bet the scars will just make it more interesting."

It was a small gesture, compared to Tucker’s act of opening up about his childhood, but it was something, something Washington actually didn’t think would be as hard to offer as it might have been an hour ago.

Tucker smiled softly, understanding the gesture. “We could see how many dicks I can make. Or I could give you a massage cause I know how much scars can get sore.”

Washington nodded solemnly. “Yeah, it’s a bitch, especially in winter-there’s this big one in between my shoulder blades, and the scar tissues clenches up In the cold and it makes my shoulders really sore no matter how much I stretch. The glass got really close to my spine, so i guess I should be grateful for sore shoulders compared to the alternative.” He looked down at the couch in between them and swallowed thickly. 

"A massage and some crudely drawn dicks? How romantic. We should plan a whole evening around it. I’ll buy wine and a new silver sharpie. Those ones are the coolest, hands down."

Tucker smiled at him gently. “Whatever you want, babe.” He moved his hand to gently cup Wash’s face while the other tugged their joined hands to his chest. He phrased it as an answer to Wash’s quip, but the meaning definitely went deeper. “I’ve been told that I have magic fingers and a gift for finding dicks where there are no dicks to be found.”

"That’s the best sentence I’ve heard in a long time. I hope that was your senior quote." He replied with a wide grin. He hadn’t yet gotten said massage…

But he already felt like a huge weight has been lifted off his back.

Tucker rested his head against Wash’s shoulder and smiled. He took his hand from Wash’s face and began to play with the man’s freckled fingers as his eyelids began to feel heavy. “Can we stay in here for a little bit? That was exhausting to think about and you’re comfy.”

Washington nodded, pressing a kiss to Tucker’s temple.

"For as long as you like."

**Author's Note:**

> playlists:  
> plot: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/twenty-questions  
> wash: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/cracks-in-the-mirror  
> tucker: http://8tracks.com/snorkletuckington/the-strongest-hearts-are-the-heaviest  
> wash: destielswingsmyheartacrosstheline  
> tucker: sarcastissa


End file.
